I've been everywhere man

The Outside is a Manifestation of the Inside

My foot hurts

Be Careful of Your Thoughts

Be careful of your thoughts for they become your words
Be careful of your words for they become your actions
Be careful of your actions for they become your destiny......

All I want for Christmas is...........

A co-worker of mine and I were just talking about how scant Christmas is going to be this year. It got me to thinking what would I want if I were going to get something. Hey you never know...

First: A fish tank with a heater for my desk at work. I used to have a beta on my desk and I loved it but he died because it was too cold in my office.

The next thing on my wish list would be a bonsai tree or maybe tree and class?

The final thing for this Christmas wish list would be a set of clothes from one of my favorite ebayers:

She puts together custom clothing lots from thrift store purchases. First of all, her combinations are awesome, second I aspire to be able to make a living doing something like this.

Other than these few things I would just love to get to do the Santa Train theme for my kids this year with a small village and train set. Something like this premade thing but of my own version. I would actually like to replicate a scene I saw myself once at Orogrande Lodge in Idaho.

All of these things are things I materially desire but since Thanksgiving comes before Christmas I want to say that I am extremely thankful this year to be living in a warm house, with my daughters and my dogs around me. My bills are paid and I have a vehicle. We have food and I've found some dear friends that love and support me. Anything more than that is just icing on the Christmas cake!!

To Whom It May Concern:

I recently have reconnected with several old friends. More than one person that I haven't talked to in 15-20 years. They all say the same things. "I always wondered what happened to you" "I think of you often" "What have you been up to" Well here's the answer. I will leave out names of accomplices so as not to incriminate anyone. I trust if you're reading this you'll recognize yourselves and identify with the others. Just so you know........I still love you but I just had to go. Not much has changed about me personally, if you knew me then you'd know me now.



When I first left Wetumka, in November of 1991, I moved to Houston TX, technically La Marque. I went on a cruise to Puerto Rico, St. Thomas ect. Also while living in Houston I took a trip to Mexico. Another significant event that took place during this time is I bartended for the first time in Texas City TX. After about 8 months in Houston we moved to Kooskia, ID.

I always wanted to move out west to Montana or Idaho and I was not disappointed when I got there. Such a beautiful place. I remember in 92 when I moved there thinking it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen, and that is still true.

After being in Idaho for about a year I left the guy I went there with and moved in with some people I was working at a restaurant with. I ended up marrying the guys brother!! He is the father of my 15 (almost 16) year old daughter Jessie.

During my six years with Jessie's father, I quilted, took care of our home, and hung out with Jess. But in 1998 I got a computer and began to yearn for civilization again. I became friends with Hank Williams Jr.'s son on the internet. After working with him for about a year online he offered me a place to stay if I moved to Nashville, so I did.

I moved to Nashville TN in August of 1999. I bartended and worked in restaurants, went back to school and got a degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Design.

In 2008 my second daughter was born, Josephine. For the past 3 years I've worked at Vanderbilt Medical Center as a Administrative Assistant.

I've been single mostly for the past 10 years. I am hesitant to let people get to attached to me anymore. That's the hardest part of leaving is the people you leave behind.

"I've always been different with one foot over the line,
winding up somewhere one step ahead or behind
I can't say I'm proud of all of things that I've done
But I can say I've never intentionally hurt anyone." - Waylon Jennings, I've Always Been Crazy

The Legend of the CrossRoads

“If you want to learn how to make songs yourself, you take your guitar and you go to where the road crosses that way, where a crossroads is. Get there be sure to get there just a little ‘ fore 12 that night so you know you’ll be there. You have your guitar and be playing a piece there by yourself…A big black man will walk up there and take your guitar and he’ll tune it. And then he’ll play a piece and hand it back to you. That’s the way I learned to play anything I want.” ~Tommy Johnson

Thus begins the legend of one of the greatest blues players ever, Robert Johnson. This particular legend says that Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads on a dark midnight to become the greatest blues player ever. Even though the 'crossroads' will forever be linked to Robert Johnson, and the origins come from deep south legends and tales, this phenomena is not limited to blues guitar players or delta residents. I believe in the legend of the crossroads, in a far greater context.

"Every religion is true one way or another. It is true when understood metaphorically. But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors, interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble. " Joseph Campbell

People who truly transcend the common and achieve greatness seem to have experienced some sort of mental break through. This I believe is what the legend of the crossroads is about.

• You go out on your own into a scary dark place. (The inner most depth of your mind)
• You meet with the devil himself there. (Monsters are lurking deep in the caverns of your mind don't ya know)
• You trade your soul for your greatness. (You must give yourself wholely to the quest or I guess decide your going to hell anyway)

I have been to the crossroads. Literally and metaphorically. I took a trip to Clarksdale in 2004. But I've been to the crossroads in my mind many times. Unable to strike a deal. I think I'm ready and I'm going back tonight............




Sources:

http://www.zerotime.com/2007/10/02/robert-johnson-at-the-crossroads/
http://www.mrjumbo.com/contents/delta99/3delta/clarksdale.html

In the Beginning

When children are born they are naked and defenseless. They can not care for themselves and they will die without love and nourishment. From that moment forward the people around them are responsible for their 'reality'. Its such a slippery slope, so much trepidation to be found. Right from the beginning, before you even could focus people were shaping what you believe. This scenario sets the scene for each life. For some this beginning is a place of darkness and they will eternally seek the light, others born under more ominous situations may find themselves in the light only to seek the relief that only darkness can give. There is an endless set of variables and an endless set of outcomes available.

All situations though send forth a being with a basic set of beliefs, basic but complicated. I didn't like what I learned from my family and we all agreed when I was 16 that I no longer belonged as part of them. I've never though been able to quite shake the early seeds they planted.....here I hope to let the garden grow and pull the weeds.

Life etches the countenance of the soul..........